Things have been going great with R, but she and I share circles of friends with an ex-girlfriend of mine (whose name also starts with R--we'll have to call her Rh). We'd be bound to run into her now and again. So when Rh called and wanted to hang out with me for old time's sake, I wasn't sure what to do. Did Rh just want to be friends, or was she looking to start something up again? Would R be jealous? Would Rh act out later if I snubbed her? Hm... what to do?
I decided to go for a casual night out with Rh, and snuck R's name into the first conversation-- to make clear that I was in a relationship and not looking to rekindle anything. After that, the night went smooth--just friends.
The good deed in the situation was finding a way to avoid hurting anybody's feelings. R, knowing that Rh just wanted to be friends, didn't have to feel threatened. Rh, knowing about R, got a clear message and didn't have to feel snubbed. And I feel comfortable now too.
Yikes, some good deeds are complicated.
ONE GOOD DEED: Find a way for both my current girlfriend and ex-girlfriend to be feel at ease with the current situation.
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