I've made a commitment: to do one good deed per day. Large or small, it doesn't matter. Self-sacrificing or not, extraordinary or mundane, it doesn't matter. Just one thing every day, that's all.
The more I do good, the better I feel about myself. Truly, to benefit others is to benefit yourself. I hope this journal may inspire others who also yearn to do good. So join me on this journey, if you will, and think about the difference you can make in your own life.
I love Thanksgiving. You just get to see people and enjoy food without all the pressure of giving and getting gifts. This year, my girlfriend R came to my family's Thanksgiving. Grandma and everybody were very welcoming of her.
I brought one of my favorite recipes: apple cider made by wrapping ingredients (cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, orange peel, etc.) in a cheese cloth and letting them infuse the juice with spicy goodness.
ONE GOOD DEED: Bring apple cider for everybody at Thanksgiving.
My girlfriend R is in a band called Samwell Rowan, and they played at Memory Lanes tonight. I really wanted to see the show, for my own enjoyment as well as to support her. Not only that, but I also got the opportunity to invite my cousin R, whom I haven't been able to hang out with much lately but who loves music concerts. It turns out he knows the bassist Sam from years ago!
ONE GOOD DEED: Support R at her show and invite my cousin R as well.
The romantic evening at the cabin was fabulous -- all alone on the lake shore, in a cabin with no electricity, with only the crackle of the fireplace and each other to keep us warm.
On the way back we visited my aunt and uncle, who live up there. Their daughter was just finishing up work and needed a lift home, so we volunteered to do it. It gave us a good opportunity to talk to E alone in the car.
ONE GOOD DEED: Give my cousin E a ride home from work.
My cousin R has been down on his luck for some time now. He helped me with my car engine a bit yesterday, so in return I treated him to dinner and then a movie he wanted to see. I was indifferent toward it but he was really excited. We saw It Might Get Loud, a rockumentary about three guitarists: Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin), the Edge (U2), and Jack White (The White Stripes). It consisted largely of their dry, off-hand comments, mixed with a few stories of how they developed their unique sounds. There were a few interesting parts for me. As a writer, I could identify with some details of their creative process. For example, Jimmy Page mentioned how he knew there was a threshold to volume, so he focused on trying to get more sustain out of his guitar. It may seem like a tiny little detail that no one would notice or care that much about, but he cared and he put his heart and soul into it. I feel that way with much of my spiritual writing, pushing the boundaries of seemingly insignificant nuances that actually mean the world to you. So, long story short, I came away with a few nuggets to think about. My cousin, on the other hand, who is a musician himself, was totally blown away by the movie. Music buffs go see it.
By the way-- yes, my cousin R and my girlfriend R are two different people (just in case the pronouns weren't enough to tip you off!).
I visited my grandparents today, and it just so happened that my uncle was staying there, recuperating after his back surgery. He's not supposed to drive for a week after the surgery, so I offered him a ride back to his home in St Bonifacius (about an hour away).
ONE GOOD DEED: Give my uncle a ride home after his back surgery.
My cousin R has a boy who's half-Jewish and will soon start Torah-Talmud school. When I unearthed an old set of wooden tile Hebrew alphabet letters I'd engraved years ago, I wondered if he might like them.
I also found a Japanese toy called a kendama, which consists of a ball on a string tied to hand-held stick with several plates and pegs. The goal is to get the ball to land on the plates and pegs.
ONE GOOD DEED: Give cousin R's boy a set of Hebrew alphabet tiles and a Japanese kendama.
I went to my hometown airport's fly-in breakfast today. Two of my second cousins, each about 5 or 6 years old were there too. They got into a little tiff over whose turn it was to fly the kite, and I overheard them arguing about it afterward. So I made up an excuse to separate them and then talked it over with them with their respective parents.
ONE GOOD DEED: Help my second cousins learn to get along.
Cousin R loves Chick Tracts too. You know Chick Tracts? They're those obnoxious religious comic book pamphlets that condemn everything from Islam to Dungeons & Dragons.
My cousin R loves Akira Kurosawa-- the director of Seven Samurai, Yojimbo, Rashimon, etc. He came over to my apartment last night and helped me arrange the place. He loves interior design, but he says no one takes him seriously because he's not gay! So he gave my place "a straight man's touch."
ONE GOOD DEED: Give my cousin magnets with Akira Kurosawa movie paintings on them.
When my brother's birthday came around, I could only think of one thing to get him--the sugary green ichor that flows in his veins and supports his very life.
ONE GOOD DEED: Buy Mountain Dew for my brother's birthday.
Tonight was my last night at my grandparents' place, so I bought them cream puffs and strawberries for dessert that night. We played cards together and had a great last night.
She's getting older and slower. Things aren't as spic and span as they used to be. When I noticed some of the cupboard handles above the stove were caked with grease, I grabbed a scrubber.
I got a car today! It's a 2001 Honda Prelude. My uncle helped me a lot with the complications of the deal, and my grandmother has been graciously cooking for me while I stay at her place. So, I wanted to say thank you. I found out they really liked cream puffs, but hadn't gotten them for a long time. When I went to look for them, I just happened to get lucky. Their faces beamed that evening at dessert time.
ONE GOOD DEED: Say thank you to my uncle and grandma with a gift of cream puffs.
One of my relatives came to visit my grandparents. He wanted to check-in for his flight online. This guy's no geezer but he's no spring chicken either. He hunts and pecks the keyboard and when he punches the mouse key he really punches it! Suffice to say he's not the most Internet-literate guy around.
ONE GOOD DEED: Walk my relative through the online process to check-in and print out his boarding pass.
I visited my cousin today. We played croquet in the park with his little boy that his ex-wife dropped off for the day. This boy is entering first grade, and reading at a seventh grade level! We put a newspaper in front of him and asked him to read the first line, and he could actually do it! Then we pointed and asked, "What's this word?" He sounded it out: "ar-bi-tra-tor." (!) He didn't know what it meant at first, but when we explained that arbitrators help people who have arguments, he understood. My cousin (his father) asked, "Who needs an arbitrator?" His boy replied matter-of-factly, "Mommy and daddy."
On the way to my cousin's place, I got a flat tire on the freeway and he came to help me change it. Naturally, that night's dinner was on me.
I've been doing so much online research trying to get myself re-established in Minneapolis that I was really ready for some good old-fashioned manual labor. I helped grandma make dinner. She let me make the salads -- probably wise that she gave me the simple part!
"Let's go bowling!" she said. I had a vision of her 88-year old body sailing after the heavy ball and crumpling in the lane. "Are you sure, grandma?" I said. Well, she was sure. So, hell ya I'll take my grandma out bowling! We had a great time. They gave her a ball no heavier than a loaf of bread. She dropped it onto the lane and it meandered its way down till it finally nudged a pin. And--magically?--they all went down! In the third game, she got 150 points! I couldn't believe it. Beaten by my grandma.
I'm an author, editor, teacher, and husband. After living in Japan, Malaysia, and England, now I make my home in Minneapolis, Minnesota, with my wife and cat. Currently I edit Humanistic Paganism, a community blog for naturalistic spirituality.
I've gone public with this for two reasons. First, it holds me accountable. I'm more motivated to continue if others are watching. Second, it may inspire others. I encourage all to copy the concept and blog their own commitment. Imagine a whole community committed to good deeds.
What makes a good deed?
Everyone has different politics and opinions, hence different ideas about what makes a good deed. In the end, it is up to the conscience of the person performing the deed. No doubt many will disagree with my views at times. Comments to that effect are welcome, so long as they are constructive and free of abusive language.
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